Should A Wannabe Influencer Pal Stop Using People for Content?

One Side: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me serving as her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest assisting her create material.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an audience. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my version of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in small ways. My assumption was filming a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their bond?